Low sleep

I didn't sleep very much last night, but I told myself that I would write every day, so here it is.

The thing about sleep is that it enables you to do things and think clearly. Lack of sleep turns me into a slug. I gaze at a pile of things or a list of bills to pay but can't bring myself to begin on any of it. I might meditate for a minute on its importance, standing, swaying slightly, considering a possible action. That's what low sleep will do.

The low-sleep state is deceptive, too. With coffee, first thing in the morning, I'm on a kind of no-sleep high. I think of myself as tough; it might even be fun. I start off on errands to beat the traffic (especially important this morning, four days before Christmas). Driving is good. It doesn't take much energy; you can float along without being a danger to others. You can accomplish things. You can go to stores where you're unlikely to see people you know, and your awful appearance will still be a secret.

But when I return to my maze at home the no-sleep state returns. I get mesmerized by news websites and can't move easily between projects. One project becomes the whole day.

Ah, well. The good thing about low sleep is tonight's good sleep.